Bagel:[00:00:00]  Hey there. Welcome back. And if it's your first time, thanks for checking out the Live Your Values podcast. My name is Bagel, and this is a show about living your values and finding fulfillment. If you're struggling with feeling like your authentic self, finding meaning and fulfillment, or simply staying motivated in your day to day, you'll wanna listen to the live your values podcast.

This show explores topics around values, meaning and fulfillment. We love getting deep with our guests and getting to know their challenges, successes, digging into their core values and understanding what drives them towards fulfillment each and every day. We recorded 17 episodes back in 2020, and proud to say we've reached thousands of listens so far, actually even many while we weren't actively publishing for the last couple of years.

And it's all thanks to you. So thanks for listening. After working on some ideas in the background over the last couple years, it's time to start publishing new episodes. So we're officially kicking off the second season of LYV. You can expect new episodes weekly for this season. There'll be a mix of interviews and a new segment we're calling Bagel Bites, short form episodes with little bites of wisdom from yours truly. Really excited about the topics and guests we have coming up in this second season. And we also have a couple other ideas we're thinking about in the background and we'd love to hear your feedback about possibly publishing episodes to YouTube with video, and even considering a weekly live stream show, maybe with rotating guests and informal topics around values and fulfillment in both life and career.

There's also some ideas floating around about starting a community for folks who want to live their values and find more fulfillment in life. And as we're working on that, we'd love to get your feedback and if you're interested in that you can reach out to us. So couple things that you can do, if you have podcast topic ideas, or any guests in mind, if you're interested in sponsoring the show in any way, we're always looking for values based businesses to sponsor the live your values podcast.

And we'd also love to know what you like about the podcast so far as you're listening and you can do all of that by reaching out to us at contact. At live your values.co that's dot co. So, without further ado, let's get into our first bagel bite episode. Thanks again for listening. Don't forget to hit subscribe in your podcast app, and we'll see you back here again for the next episode of LYV, enjoy today's episode.

 Are you the type of person that overanalyzes everything? What if you had a framework to help you get out of analysis paralysis and into taking action? What if I told you that your values could help you get there? If so. 

This episode is for you. 

This is Bagel Bites, a short form show offering practical steps to help you live your values each and every day. I'm excited to kick off our very first Bagel Bites episode talking about one of my favorite topics, overcoming what I call analysis paralysis. Let's start with a story. 

So every year for about seven years straight, I would say, I helped put together a trip to the Poconos in Pennsylvania. For those of you who are not North Easterners. ,the Poconos is a pretty common getaway spot in the, both in the winter and the summer months. In the winter obviously more so for the skiing and kind of cabin feel. A little getaway, it's only about a couple hours from New York city and Philadelphia. Not far from Jersey where I grew up with most of my friends. And the summer is pretty nice too. A bunch of lakes and amusement park kind of stuff going on there in the summertime. But anyway, For the story's sake in the winter time, every year for about seven years one of my best friends and I sort of traded off coordinating a big trip with all of our friends, usually around the holidays. Pretty often around new years, if not either shortly before, shortly after that. And the goal was really to get us all together and have fun for a few days and just really have a great time. Honestly, most of us didn't even ski. I did occasionally, there was a couple of us that maybe went to the mountain and kind of got the skis or snowboard on. But most people just went to go hang out with their friends and drink for a few days and just hang out, get away from things. So. One of the struggles with that, obviously it was something that I really loved and looked forward to almost every year. It was really a tradition that we built and was just awesome. It's just like something to really look forward to at the end of every year, knowing that I was going to get to see most of my really good friends in one spot and just kind of hang out. With very little agenda, right. Just be able to hang and have fun. But what started to happen is over the years, I have a good group of friends from home, from where I grew up in Jersey. And then I started to accumulate some other groups of friends over the years. As well as did my best friend who was also sort of coordinating this with me. So he is a teacher and has his own job and met some people through that community. And I started to gather friends from college. And then even after that in grad school. And I wanted these people to come together. And luckily, I really feel lucky that most of the people I've introduced to one another amongst my different groups of friends have mostly got along. And I really, the more I think about it, the more I'm grateful for that over the years. But that it's not a hundred percent, right. Not everyone is going to always get along with new people just because they have that one shared connection in common. And so one of the things that we had to navigate over time is figuring out, okay, like, who are we inviting? Are we making sure that the people that come every year are enjoying themselves? Are we preserving sort of that core that wants to do this. And are we making sure that we're not bringing along people who they don't get along with? Right. Because all of a sudden you start to push out the people who started this tradition. It becomes a different thing and it kind of loses its character, its tradition and its purpose in a sense. And so I really found this to be a little bit difficult to navigate. One of the things that I always tried to do is with my best friend who I was sort of co-planning this way is, he would be my first stop, right. Like him and I would have a conversation like in the Fall to be like, Hey, first of all, we still doing this? Cool. We still doing it at this place? Cool. Or sometimes in the early days we had to find a place. Right. So kind of getting the basic logistics figured out first and then having the conversation about okay. Are we cool with these people coming? Is there any issues or any concern and like, even though we know each other really well we still have to have kind of a conversation to make sure we feel good about the group that's going to be there. And this isn't a petty thing. It's not like, oh, we don't want this person to come because they're not in the crew. It's more, so I think preserving the dynamic that we wanted. Of the type of people that we know enjoy getting together to do this type of thing. And so anyway, I jus t think of this example because it's something that really kind of came up a lot over the years. And unfortunately, that tradition has faded. As people are having families and doing their own thing now it's kind of gone. But there's other instances where it comes up where maybe I want to plan or Emma and I want to plan a weekend with some friends. And we want to make sure that the people we've invited all get along and that we're going to have a good time and that there's not going to be any issues. And so a lot of thought sometimes has to go into that. And with that sometimes difficult conversations. And so I wanted to use that as a launching pad to talk through this topic of analysis paralysis. And how to sort of move through getting stuck at these beginning stages of trying to figure something out that may seem a little daunting or a little challenging. And figuring out how to work through them. And what I want to do today is to provide a framework for you all, to be able to do that.

[00:07:49] When Analysis Paralysis sneaks in

 All right. So when might this show up in your daily life? So a couple examples of when you might experience analysis paralysis could be making any big decisions related to work, projects, people. It could be thinking about attending an event that's coming up. Especially if you're introverted. Maybe it's a conflict with a friend, something that you're avoiding because you maybe avoid confrontation or sort of shying away from having that difficult conversation. Even things that seem trivial, like buying a gift for someone or bringing something to a party. Sort of to encompass a lot of this , it could feel like we're in an area in life where maybe a final outcome is a little less defined or an expectation is a little bit less defined. So let's talk about the framework and some practical steps that you can use to work through analysis paralysis and really move towards action. 

[00:08:41] Step One: Why

So, first and foremost, you've probably heard this before. Remember your Why. What is that Why? What is driving this action that you want to be taking? Why is this important to you? And I think a note on that too, is like, especially because whatever you may be avoiding or having resistance to in all likelihood is maybe something a little bit outside of your comfort zone. I think it's really, really important to understand, why are you doing this in the first place? And sort of along with that, the second point is also to connect this to your values. 

[00:09:13] Step Two: Values

So it really quickly touch back on the story I gave before about the Poconos and kind of creating this tradition. That was actually really clear for me. And that was, I wanted an opportunity to get as many of my good friends together in one place as I possibly could. And selfishly just be able to hang out with all of them. Right. And it just was so much easier to feel like I could have that connection. That authentic connection. So two of my values there by putting on this event and organizing it every year. not the same people always showed up but there was some consistency to that. Right. So start with your Why number one. And connecting it to your Values, number two. 

[00:09:52] Step Three: The Desired Outcome

From there, the third step I would say is to define your desired outcome. What do you actually want this to look like? It doesn't mean that you have to know exactly what you're going to be doing every step along the way. If you're, let's just use the example of like going to an event, something new where maybe you're going to be in front of a lot of new people. Think about something you can control, right? Maybe it's that you want to have just two genuine conversations with somebody at that event, right. Something that's feels tangible, but that you can actually control. 

[00:10:23] Step Four: Input to make the move

And then number four would be, what information do you actually need in order to take that action or to take that first step? Do you need to know how many people are going to be at said event. Do you need to know what the dress is? Do you need to know what the expectations are for how to interact? As much information, especially if this is a new thing. If it's outside of your comfort zone. If you do tend to be more introverted and you're walking into an extroverted environment, right? Those are the types of things where having more information at your disposal before you have to take that action can be useful. 

[00:10:54] Step Five: Make Your Move

The same time, there is a cutoff point where you do need to follow step five, which is just take the first step. I know a lot of the times for me, and I can speak to this really well. I tend to go about 5 to 10 steps deep thinking about all the things that I want to do and maybe think I should be doing. The reality is, bringing it back to what is the first step that you can take? What is the first tangible thing that you can do right now to make progress towards whatever this action or this goal is that you're trying to work through. 

[00:11:28] Step Six: Keep Going In Steps

Number six would then be once you've taken that first step, hopefully you feel like you've gotten a little momentum. You're like, okay, I can do this. This isn't going to be so bad. Right. And then from there you want to chunk it down. Break this down into manageable steps. Again, using that example of going to an event where you might be meeting some new people. Like, first step is, do I have the directions? Do I know where I'm going? Right. Then the next thing is, do I have an idea of how much time I want to spend there? Right? Like what are some tangible things you can sort of do for yourself? What sort of boundaries can you set? What sort of questions do I want to ask? If I get engaged in a conversation with someone to make it feel a little bit easier? Right. And then bringing it back to what's that desired outcome. Is it just having two conversations and I'm out of there? Cool. Then, you know, right. You set that expectation ahead of time and you can kind of break down whatever steps might be involved in that before you get to that final outcome. 

[00:12:22] Step Seven: Appreciation Along The Way

Number seven would be to celebrate each step. Right. So, you registered for the event. Amazing, great job. That is probably one of the hardest parts, right? Actually getting dressed, right. Getting in your car or getting on your bike or start starting to walk to it. Right. That's great. You're making progress towards actually doing, and I know this may sound like sort of a simplified example. But I just wanna kind of drive home the point here of the framework of - you can really make anything that you're overthinking as simple as you want it to be. So, you're taking that step to go there. You get there, you sign in, you get a name badge. Right. You have that first conversation each step along the way, you can have a little party in your head, right? Like, okay. I did it. It's cool. Take a deep breath. For a bigger example, like going back to the Poconos idea and organizing a big event with people. Maybe that first step is booking the house. Right. And knowing that that's in place. Or the venue or the place that you need to stay. Right. And then what are the next steps? Chunk it down. Okay. I need to know how I'm getting there. I need to know who else is coming. Right. I need to know what I need to bring. Right. And put some deadlines to it, but again be flexible with that. And celebrate each step along the way. 

[00:13:35] Step Eight: Grace

And then the last piece number eight, is to give yourself some grace. I think there are many times where we are our own biggest critic and sometimes it pushes us and drives us to do better and that's important. But I think there's also a line there as well, where you don't want to judge yourself too hard. Right. So. Especially if this is something, like I said, outside of your comfort zone, especially if this is something new. Do your best. And then at the end, or even along the way, if you feel like you didn't meet your own expectations you're allowed to be disappointed. But don't beat yourself up over it. Figure out, okay, what was it that stopped me there? Why couldn't I follow through? Give yourself a little grace, say, you know what? I know this was hard. Maybe I did bite off more than I can chew. And that's okay. What can I do next time that would actually feel more manageable? What step was I able to accomplish? Can I just push myself one step further next time? Right. Give yourself some grace. Take those baby steps knowing that it probably is something hard and that's probably why you've had some resistance to it in the past. But what's that one thing, how can you make that marginal improvement to just do a little bit more this next time? 

[00:14:43] That Gut Feeling

So those are some practical steps for you. I hope that framework is helpful. I wanted to just leave you before we wrap this episode up. I wanted to leave you just with one more pro tip with all of that. And I know I kind of went through a lot of tangible steps there. But I think, if you get caught up on any of this, I think the most important thing I could recommend here, and you've probably felt this yourself is trust your gut. If there's a scenario where you feel completely out of place and you are maybe feeling something in the pit of your stomach, like telling you, like don't do this. You should listen to that. And I'm not talking about the little bit of nerves and the butterflies, walking into new situation. I'm talking about that gut feeling that's like, "This is not what I want." Right. That's important just as much as the other side of the coin with whatever's driving you to do this. If you know that this is something that you really care about and you really want to do and there's just some barriers in the way and some hurdles along the way. Remember that, trust that gut that this is something that you want and try to push through it. Right? So there there's both sides of that spectrum. 

[00:15:46] To Sum It Up

So to recap, you may feel some resistance or hesitation to take action in situations that require analyzing. And that's okay. The key is to embrace it. It means you're looking to make the best decision for yourself and for others. And remember the steps I just talked about. Most importantly, connecting with your values to drive the decision before you take the action. 

All right. This has been an episode of Bagel Bites. If you're into it, I hope you consider subscribing on your platform of choice. And if you'd like to submit a question or a topic, leave us a voicemail on our website, www.liveyourvalues.co that's www.live your values dot C O. Each month, we'll pick one topic from you, our fans to explore on a future episode of Bagel Bites. And thank you very much. And I'll see you guys and talk to you soon.

Thanks again for listening to this episode of the live your values podcast, we really value feedback. So please rate and review us on apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast listening app. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss all new episodes of LYV. Special thanks to Emma Peck and Joel Lindenfeld for branding design, Danielle Gelber for marketing strategy and Rebecca Kittel with fyt for operations support.

Until next time, get out there and live.